literature

Team Mystic Joins the Front Lines Pt. 2

Deviation Actions

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    The Ralts clung to the pink Dratini's ear flaps, as they charged with all the other 'mon. The castle came into sight, once they went over the boulder that was in front of them. The sheer size of the castle brought fear upon the Ralts, but the Dratini didn't seem to be fazed as she swam ahead. They charged into the already open front gate, the rogues having done their job. "You ready for a battle, Gablade?" asked Talia, her voice barely clogged with water.

    The Ralts stared in horror, wondering what he had gotten himself into, then finally managed to respond, with a squeak, "I guess." Talia gave a small nod, nearly jerking Gablade off of her ear flaps.

    The Wartortle from before swam past the duo, using Aqua Jet, and slamming his body into a Prinplup. Talia swam past the Wartortle and Prinplup, going into the large castle.

    The main room was already filled with 'mon fighting everywhere, some of the rogues working the in the shadows. She spotted the Treecko and Mudkip again, but didn't go over to them. She didn't go over to them, because a Gyarados suddenly tried to sideswipe them with it's tail. Talia quick did a small maneuver of her body, barely dodging the attack. Gablade's grip slipped though, making him fly away form Talia, he panicked a little, before righting himself. He spotted the pink snake, her unusual coloring making her a greater target and easier to spot. He was about to try and swim over to her, when a Tirtouga attacked him, using Rapid Spin. He gave a small grunt, then his eyes glowed, as he encased the turtle 'mon in a Psychic, slamming him into a wall.

    Talia noticed that Gablade had been knocked off, but couldn't do anything about it, as a Dragon Pulse from the Gyarados, was sent at her. She was grazed, on the tip of her tail, knocking her off balance. The Gyarados chuckled, "You are so weak! What do you expect to do!?" his voice a deep grunt. She then swam away from him, making it look like she was running away, "Yeah, run away! Just like the rest of ya'll be doing!" Talia went above the Gyarados, then felt the power of all dragon types rush through her smaller body, making her propel through the water, a dragon aura surrounding her body. She slammed her body into the head of the now unsuspecting Gyarados, and his head slammed into the ground, leaving a crater in the stone floor. The Gyarados then lays there unconscious and not moving. Talia staggered away, feeling the recoil damage be great, after such a heavy attack. An Audino saw her heavy attack, and slowly swam over to her, then handed her an Oran berry with a smile. Talia nodded to the Audino, then slowly ate the berry, feeling her strength be restored by the berry's juice going down her throat.

    The Tirtouga shakily got up as Gablade looked at it, the shell on it's back cracked a little. The Tirtouga reared it's head back, then sent a large jet of water at Gablade, using Hydro Pump. He knew he couldn't dodge the attack, so he just used Psychic on the jet of water, hoping to be fast enough. The stream dispersed a little, but still pushed Gablade back into a large stone pillar. "Argh!" he grunted, as he fell to a knee, his back starting to burn in the cool water. He stood up, and his eyes glowed a black, as he used Hypnosis on the Tirtouga, hoping it works this time. Little black orbs circled around the Tirtouga's head, as it's eyes started to droop. It soon fell asleep, and Gablade gave a small gleeful cry out, as he finally learned Hypnosis.

    Talia soon healed fully up, and swam to find Gablade. She saw him, his eyes glowing a black as he attacked a Piplup with little black circles around it's head. The Piplup drops unconscious, looking to be asleep. "Gablade! Come on, we have bigger fish to deal with!" she shouted over to him, as she continued to swim. She then felt a pair of jaws come onto her lower body, a Carvanha chomping down on her, while dragging her away from her friend. She tried to turn her head so she could get an angle on the Carvanha, but couldn't seems to twist her head enough for a Dragon Rage. All her moves were useless in this position, the small black orbs were seen going in front of his eyes and head, as his swimming slowed, and the jaws started to loosen a little. Talia used this to her advantage, and struggled, feeling the teeth digging through her scales and into the tender flesh underneath. She gave a small whimper, but held it back, as she was able to escape, and sent a Dragon Rage at the now sleeping Carvanha. It's blasted away, by the blue smoky dragon.

    Gablade saw the red blood well up from the bite mark on Talia's body, and tensed up. He started to slowly swim towards her, when a Krabby grabbed down on his back leg, keeping him from going to her. The other claw opened up, as bubbles were jetted out and onto the Ralts at close range, the trying to push him away, but the Krabby's other claw keeping him in place. He looked around, as the hair that acted like a helmet, was blown from his face, blowing upwards. The Bubble Beam stopped, and he got a small breather, but the claw that wasn't holding him in place, suddenly turned to steel, as the Krabby uses Metal Claw, it's prey completely trapped. Gablade looked in horror, feeling the fake gills starting to fall off, as the steel claw slammed into his back, sending him into the stone floor. The Treecko from earlier, suddenly slammed the Krabby down with an Iron Tail, releasing the Krabby's grip. Gablade quick, weakly swam away, the Treecko nodded to Gablade, then continued on his way, going back into the shadows.

    Talia's vision started to become blurry, as the salt water stung her new bleeding wounds. She barely saw Gablade being attacked by the Krabby, as she looked around for another healer. A Chikorita was seen, using Heal Pulse on the Wartortle, Talia's blurry vision made it hard to tell where she was going, but she barely made it to the Chikorita. She felt agony go up her whole body, making it very hard to move. The Chikorita turned, and saw her, his eyes wide. He then swam a bit towards Talia, and uses Heal Pulse, the wounds healing and the bleeding stopping. The scales didn't grow back, but the skin was closed. The Chikorita nodded, then went away, going to find another 'mon that needed healing. Talia's vision slowly came back, leaving her useless for a bit. 

    Gablade looked around, after he was escaped from the Krabby, a little dazed. He spotted Talia curled up in a little ball, trying to hide as she healed. He swam over to her, finally not being stopped. He reached her, and saw a bunch of 'mon swimming out of the castle, but none that were on their side. He watched them leave, swimming quickly away and out of the castle. It seemed they were retreating, Gablade's eyes were wide, as that realization kicked in. The Wartortle from earlier was chuckling, standing in the middle, as Riptide swam ahead, towards Triton. The Seadra had left behind a big bag, full of the rewards, with the Chikorita from earlier, finding him trustworthy. Talia grunted a little, as she swam over, as the 'mon made a line, some of the rewards were to be passed out above the water, like the hats, but some like the Insta-evo Elixir was being passed out. They waited in line for their reward, and Talia chose the Elixir. They swam away from the larger group, Gablade holding the plastic bottle. Talia looked at the bottle, then asked, "Should I?" her voice soft.

    Gablade nodded, and started to unscrew the top, "Skull will just try and steal it, if he sees it..." he pointed out. Once it was unscrewed, Gablade held it to Talia's mouth, who started to drink the potion. She cringed to the taste, it tasting like a sweaty sock. She doused all of it though, then take a breath, sticking her tongue out.

    "Ugh, that was n-" she was cut off, as her body started to glow, "W-woah! This is.." her voice was drowned out, making it impossible to hear what else she was going to say. The glowing engulfed her whole body, she started to feel longer, and bigger. The glowing died down, and she opened her eyes, and looked around. Gablade was staring at her, in disbelief, she murmured, "I feel, longer..."

    Gablade took a swallow, then said, "I would be surprised if you didn't, you're a Dragonair!" he exclaimed, then looked around, finding a mirror. The scales that had been ripped off, were now grown back, and she swam over to the mirror, seeing it was true, she was a Dragonair now.

    Her eyes went wide, "It worked!" she exclaimed, happily. She looked around, and saw the Wartortle drinking a potion, "Oh jeez, we may have to leave..." she murmured, and Gablade nodded his agreement. They followed another group out of the castle, and swam to the top, Gablade holding onto Talia's ear flaps again.
Well, this is the end of MM2!

The Treecko is by, :icongabladerunner: and the Chikorita is by, :iconlearn2chillax: :3

Hope you enjoyed! (Time to go update my app, again!)
© 2014 - 2024 flygirlll26262
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GabladeRunner's avatar
Well, here's part two, and I guess it's the last part. Here's what I think: (Non entire review format)

There were a large amount of odd wordings throughout the story. Like, let me find a quick example:
"but didn't go over to them. She didn't go over to them, because a Gyarados..."
You can see where a decent portion of these would get irritating.

The entire fight scene just felt underwhelming, and there was a lot of missing details, so I had trouble really getting into the story. 

Going back to Sapphire and Skull's contribution, is it just me or was that incredibly short? Like, barely any time was spent here, and I was actually hoping more people would look further into the swamp. But, that might just be a personal gripe.

Another note regarding the cameo. So, it's obvious that you at least read into my story somewhat, because you recognized that grass types would suffer in salt water. However, I find it hard to believe that Jack would have the sanity to just save a Pokemon and give them a nod of approval given how he suffered in my story with bloodlust Jack taking over. 

Although, I will say this, it wasn't really that awful. I'd suggest looking into getting someone to look into your writings and edit it before publishing. Maybe get some professional critique before the final posting, y'know? (I'd be willing to, but that's up to you)